Act 2


I feel completely upside down this week. The days have flown by and I can't seem to focus long enough to write or do anything besides be in she-robot mode. With this new moon is starting today, major changes are inevitable - obvious, subtle, or unconscious. They can be internal or external so be aware of your mood fluctuations...
In case you forgot, I am on the road to stardom. I am on the front page of the local paper getting my Lenten ashes on the go. Can I get a #2 with a Diet Coke and a side of ashes, please? Honestly, what has this world come to? Passing out ashes at the train station?  I would have had super Catholic school girl guilt if I casually waltzed by that nice women in the white robe yesterday morning. It's not every year you get the Ash Wed/Valentines Day combo. Like that time I went to two proms in one night... oh, yeah, that happened. I am feeling like I am channeling Kim K - I got my own 'Chris' alerts this morning. Woke up to a group chat from my mom and her two sisters sharing the 'Lynne front page' news. My response was a little 'fuck'. I told that little Fraggle Rock newspaper character to not take my pic and that meatball puts me on the front page. Only me! I think sometimes A does this shit to make me laugh. Like that time I was swimming at the Y in my plus size speedo, minding my business, doing my laps (I'm a shark in the pool, I think it's unexpected but I have major swim swag) and this little fella who was the size of my left leg asks me my 411 and then insists we get 'supper' after the pool. He was a retired something or another - I don't really know what, I totally zoned out when he mentioned retired (must go home and put on a damn face mask as I was a mere 33 at the time). After I said, 'no thank you, please' in my nicest way possible, I saw his legs swing dangling in the deep end  asking me when I swim and could he see me again (don't forget that I'm wearing a plus size speedo and a 1960 looking flower swim cap and the biggest fuck you buddy on my forehead). I was like, 'dude I am not dating you ever or anyone my husband just died and you're old as fuck!' (inside my head voice). 
A week later, a similar something happened. I'm in my black convertible (I told my pop I needed to feel the wind in my hair so I could make sure I was still alive) with the darkest pair of Versace sunglasses and I mustered up only enough energy to get my nails done. Walking to my car parked in front of a barbershop, this dude chases me down and said he felt a connection when our eyes met.  Homeboy legit has 3 (three) healthy looking teeth in his head.  I remember saying 'How could you see my eyes behind these damn vampire glasses?' Do NOT confuse my blank, vacant stare with a 'Hi, I am flirting with you' look.  Dumb ass.....I laughed and cried at the same time. Fuck you, A.

You left me here on his earth and you're up there finding this shit funny? Fucking shit. Sigh.
Picturing him laughing puts in me in an instant better place, though. The problem with being blessed with this irresistibly sparkling personality and sense of humor is that I don't actually find a lot of people very funny. At all. I think stuff if funny and I love to laugh but rarely do I find people funny. I feel like most are just trying too hard. I don't know where these things come from with me or the things I come up with but I get a chuckle out of myself. I have  a lot of amazing memories with me and A, but I mostly remember laughing, laughing my real laugh. I don't hear that all of the time because I have a solid surface laugh that gets me by, but my real laugh is intense and that's the one I remember laughing with him. I have been trying to remember every single detail and conversation we ever had together. If I could I would just live my life over and over with him like a cassette tape. Play. Rewind. Pause. He has been my most favorite chapter and the chapter that has pushed me into Act 2.

In this past year, I have met so many amazing people and reconnected with people that I didn't think I missed. Some friendships have picked up and some haven't so much. And that's ok.
Act 2 is about me keeping it real. Real friendships and relationships. People that choose to be on my cheering squad, like my 'Chris'. You should never have to beg for love, affection or kinship. You should never have to jump up and down to be heard or seen. I remember pushing A out of my car when I first realized he was obsessed with me (good taste) saying, 'Go date some HOT Americans!'  and he would just say, 'no Lynne. I just want you.'

Time is picking up, I went out last night with my friend Chichi. She is wonderful and an amazingly good Galantine. We met for high tea and I drank both of our champagnes. I met her back when she was a resident in training at the hospital. Now she is a major big deal and started her own blog. I am probably her #5 biggest fan http://chichichicmd.com/  You need to check out my friend, she is just beyond fabulous! Major girl crush! I had a super fun time and thought to myself even though I don't see this lady all of the time, we just picked up where we left off. All women inspire me. We are all incredibly resilient and beautiful creators. The new world is about trusting our kindness and divine intuition, and knowing there is only love.


I hope all of you get a taste of something as real as this my friend Chichi, Chris, and a love like A.

The Widows Peak,
XO

Ps. Lynne&Chichi

Comments

  1. I love your writing so much. It's so witty, but so real. A was truly a rare gem and your posts portray him so well.
    Wish you had included that news pic, haha.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular Posts